I may have mentioned that one of the steps in preparing my sweetheart/brat of a cat for the impending arrival of his archnemesis has been the playing of the sounds that babies make to acclimate him to the noise. I have done this by basically looking for “crying baby” on YouTube and have sporadically played the same playlist for the past few months. As my due date gets closer, I decided that I needed to add to the playlist to make sure he truly, truly understands what a wailing baby sounds like. So I decided to search for “colic baby.” Big mistake. Below is an example of the sort of nightmare fuel that will be haunting me until The Pipsqueak is born. I think if my kid ever cries for 30 minutes straight, you would walk in to find both of us in hysterical tears.

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