I could see my coworkers doing this

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labor

Student Poses for Selfie With Pregnant Teacher ‘In Labor’

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Siblings

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Here’s to hoping my kitty takes to the baby like these kitties do:

What should I do with my placenta?

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Warning: many of the links included in this post lead to fairly graphic pictures. This is not for the faint of heart. However, if you have trouble stomaching (no pun intended) the images you see, you probably should never get pregnant.

Will Placenta Smoothies be the Next Post Birth Trend?” Jennifer Chait over at Inhabitots asks in a short post about an America’s Next Top Model alum’s placenta smoothie. Jennifer is well aware of the fact that the consumption of placenta has “been a thing” for many, many, many, many years. Back in 2007, a couple of friends and I became a bit obsessed with this blog post about a placenta party, wherein a gentleman documents the process of cooking and serving “Manley’s Patent Spiced Placenta Fricassée” to a group of his friends, some of whom were vegan.

This interest led to a need to Google all things placenta. People consume their placenta for a number of reasons. Placentophagy is something that many mammals do for nutritional purposes and many human proponents believe that it helps fight against postpartum depression. Many people simply have their placenta turned into pills that they swallow, though there are no shortages of recipes available for people to consume their placentas in traditional meals. However, placentas aren’t just for eating! A stroll through a hair and beauty shop in my old stomping grounds in Queens brought me face-to-face with beauty products containing placenta. I’m pretty sure I still own a tube of one of these products, very thoughtfully purchased for me by one of the aforementioned friends. According to Wikipedia, most of these products are made with sheep placenta…which I guess is better? I dunno. (This is kinda like, why is eating breastmilk ice cream any less weird than eating ice cream made from an anonymous cow?)

(By the way, apparently the use of placenta containing hair products induced early puberty in some young girls.)

Now, back to me. What should I do with my placenta? Cook it? Encapsulate it? Bury it? Leave it attached to the baby? Turn it into a shampoo? Right now I am leaning towards using it to paint a onesie, one of the suggestions on Inhabitots’ 5 ‘Fun’ Things You Can Do With Your Baby’s Placenta post.

WIC and the Shutdown

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A lot of people have had to suffer because of the government shutdown. I have seen a lot of people – including my own family – be affected by this ridiculous, ridiculous situation. One of the government programs that is currently not being funded is the Women, Infants, and Children Food and Nutrition program. I don’t care where you fall on the political spectrum or how much you feel that these moms need to stop looking for handouts and get a job so that they can feed their babies or not have babies if they can’t afford to (seriously, let’s have a one-on-one, level headed conversation about that if this reflects your general viewpoint), but the people who suffer most from the lack of funds to this program are poor, innocent babies, most of whom already have the deck stacked against them.

The oh-so-awesome Feminist Hulk (yes, as in green Hulk smash but not at all affiliated with Marvel or She Hulk) is compiling a list of resources for those in need of infant formula, baby food, and lactation resources that they normally would receive through WIC. More information can be found here: WIC AND SHUTDOWN: WHERE TO GET BABY FOOD AND FORMULA. You can help by:

  • Spreading the word about this project
  • Sharing information about any organizations or programs that can assist these women and children in need
  • Donate to a local agency or organization that provides support and resources to women and children in need

Labor Day

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I am now 34 weeks. This means I have 3-8 weeks until the Pipsqueak finally makes her big debut. I am due November 1, but the consensus amongst strangers and friends alike is that I will probably pop a little early. It is no secret that I am beyond ready to be done with this pregnancy thing and it would make my life simpler if she did arrive early. Alas, I have no control over this and am operating under God’s (and the Pipsqueak’s) timing.

That being said, I am rushing to get the most important things taken care of. I need to pack my hospital bag, install my carseat, make sure someone has keys to my apartment, find someone to take care of my cat, get the diaper service lined up and ready to go, etc. And I’d like to meet the doctor who is delivering my baby as that is something that hasn’t happened yet (unless the OB who I have been seeing happens to be doing deliveries despite being nearly as pregnant as I am).

One of the best parts of being pregnant (that I will discuss a bit more in another post which I have been planning for a while but may or may not get around to writing) has been the countless stories I have heard from other people. Now I am seeking a very specific story: I would love to hear about people’s labor! Digging around my message boards and just talking to people about labor, I hear conflicting reports of, “Oh, you will definitely know!” to “I didn’t realize I was in labor until it was almost time for the baby to pop out!” It’s amusing and terrifying to say the least. Even just finding descriptions of contractions has been problematic as they are apparently different for everyone. I’m pretty sure I recognize my Braxton-Hicks contractions but I can’t be sure. So I’d love to hear from you. What was it like for you?

Nightmare Fuel

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I may have mentioned that one of the steps in preparing my sweetheart/brat of a cat for the impending arrival of his archnemesis has been the playing of the sounds that babies make to acclimate him to the noise. I have done this by basically looking for “crying baby” on YouTube and have sporadically played the same playlist for the past few months. As my due date gets closer, I decided that I needed to add to the playlist to make sure he truly, truly understands what a wailing baby sounds like. So I decided to search for “colic baby.” Big mistake. Below is an example of the sort of nightmare fuel that will be haunting me until The Pipsqueak is born. I think if my kid ever cries for 30 minutes straight, you would walk in to find both of us in hysterical tears.

5 Things to Remember When Your Life Goes to Hell

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5 Things to Remember When Your Life Goes to Hell

It’s always kinda awkward when a comedy website drops some wisdom on me like it’s hot. I am blessed that I figured a lot of these things out when I got the electric shock that was the positive pregnancy test but this is advice that I need to remember on a day-to-day basis as I fumble through this life trying to figure sh*t out.

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